Enough
by CrowNoYami
Summary: Gabriel knew as he walked into that hotel that he wasn't making it out alive. As he looked back on how it came to this point he knew only one thing; he loved his brothers, even the one who was going to kill him. *Part 1 of the Archangels series


**Authors Note:** **Well this is kind of my take on Hammer of the Gods from Gabe's POV. It's sad and has MCD (Major Character Death) so if you're not okay with that turn around now. There are no relationships beyond familial ones either.**

 **Warnings:** **MCD (Major Character Death), Mentions of war, Minor character death (including children), violence.**

 ***~* This has been edited by the lovely TrickyJerseyGirl … you can check out her work here:** /users/TrickyJerseyGirl/pseuds/TrickyJerseyGirl **~*~***

 **Enough**

He loved his brothers.

It was a simple fact, one which he knew ran down to his very grace. When he was young, he had looked up to his older brothers; now, even though he no longer looked up to them, he loved them just the same. Even when it was bad; when he could hear Mikey and Luci fighting well across Heaven, when the order came to shove Luci in his box, he still loved his brothers. It wasn't the same love he had for the younger ones, the ones whom he taught to fly and how to use their abilities. No, the first four had a special bond like no other, and he treasured it.

He loved his brothers, but he wondered if they loved him.

How could they still love him as they once did? Luci might—he probably understood the need to flee from Heaven once he was shoved into the pit… but Mike and Raf? They had been forced to deal with the abandonment, the assumed death, of the one brother they presumed they could count on. What good was a messenger who refused to deliver the Word? Dad had asked him to deliver the message to Mike, to formally tell the other that it was time for Luci to be locked away. He ran instead. It was his first real act of defiance, and while he knew that he should have been severely punished, Dad let him go.

In that moment, he wondered if his father really was all he was cracked up to be.

Blasphemy hadn't really been his thing; while a bit wild, he was still a good son. Not as obedient as Michael, not as studious as Raphael, not as beautiful as Lucifer, but good none the less. Before the Fall, he had been obedient. When Dad gave him an order, he followed through, always delivered the message, be it in words or in blood. When the Word came about the Nephilim, he didn't question it. He had slaughtered every one of his nieces and nephews just as Dad wanted, had bathed in their blood with his small garrison. Michael had offered to help, to send his own troops into battle, but how could he allow that? Those where their _children_ , and regardless if Dad commanded it, he would not allow a parent to kill their child.

His garrison may have been small, but by the time the war was won they were the strongest Heaven had to offer. Something broke in each of them, something that he hadn't been able to save while they completed their duty. When he found out the Anael had chosen to fall, he hadn't been surprised, only sad. She had been one of the first soldiers; she had seen them destroy what would have been children. As she started to mourn for those lost, he had saved her of her duty more than once, making the kill himself so she wouldn't have to. From time to time, he would wonder about her, about how her once-glowing grace had been dimmed by the blood of whom she perceived as innocent.

Balthazar was a surprise. Gabriel had expected him to be on the list of parents; it was well known how he enjoyed being on Earth far more than any other. Instead, he was one of the best of his garrison, never stopping until every Nephilim was destroyed. Like Anael, he had been altered by the experience, something about him changed, his laughter sounded off, and his joy became a mask to hide behind. Balthazar didn't fall; he simply slipped out of Heaven, taking post on Earth. Gabriel wished him well; the last time he had seen the angel had been on a bloody morning, their skin stained red. He had seemed so strong then, but Gabriel couldn't help but notice the drop in his wings.

Castiel had been a godsend in the most literal sense of the word. Michael had told him how he was foolish to bring one of the youngest into his garrison. But something about the angel called to him; with his wide curious eyes, that Gabriel knew would be tainted by battle. The soldier was everything that Gabriel had secretly hoped for, yet dreaded. He was by far the best seraph, not only in his garrison, but Gabriel was willing to bet that he could take on any of Michael's soldiers. Castiel had proven not only his skills as a soldier, but his faith. While they destroyed the creatures sired by their brothers; not _once_ did Castiel question Father's Will, something that Gabriel knew _he_ did with every life they took. Castiel believed in the Mission, believed with every fiber of his being.

When the war was over and the last body fell, Gabriel knew that his small garrison would go on to do something more with their lives. He had a feeling that Castiel would become, the most important of them all.

Then Lucifer fell, Michael raged, Raphael plotted, and Gabriel ran.

The first four. They were supposed to help rule over Heaven, to pick up when their Father left; but instead, they failed Him the most. Gabriel knew that Dad would never ask him to deliver the final message, not after he point blank refused the last one. Instead, He allowed the angels and demons to plot out the end of the world, without once consulting the messenger supposed to deliver the Word. Gabriel should have felt slighted; instead, he had only felt relieved. Until he met the vessels.

By the time he realized what was happening; when he saw the look of betrayal on Castiel's face after pulling him from the dimension he had thrown him into, it was too late for him to prevent it. But he could damn well give them a way to _end_ it. Leaving that warehouse, he did the one thing that he believed he would never do again. He prayed. While there was no direct answer from Father, Gabriel did manage to find another option besides killing his brother. Now, with his plan in the form of a last-minute Hail Mary DVD, he didn't hesitate to face his brother.

He loved his brothers.

He had always loved them; through every fault, and with every bit of his grace. He loved them because they were the same because even through all the blood and the pain he _understood_ in a way beyond any human could. Facing his brother, Gabriel knew he wasn't going to make it out of there alive; it was why he gave the DVD to Dean in the first place. He had spent so much time running; it was time for him to make a stand. Seeing Lucifer as he was now, hurt and dark; no longer the brilliant white _purity_ that he had once been, tore something in Gabriel, and he could feel his own grace reaching for his brothers'.

He loved his brothers.

For Luci, it wasn't about fighting Michael. It wasn't about taking over the world, or whatever else others believed. As Gabriel saw his brothers' grace and felt the sharp stab of his own blade ripping through him, he _understood._ This was about Lucifer doing what Gabriel had done so long ago. Looking at Dad and saying _no_. How could he hate him for doing the same thing he had? In that split second, he knew his brother far better, far _more_ than any other in existence; and he loved him. Seeing the look on his brothers' face, he understood that while his actions spoke of hate, Lucifer loved him as well.

Smiling in the crooked way he had picked up in his time with the pagans, Gabriel closed his eyes while his vessel fell back. His grace exploded, shattering what he once was, and erasing him in a way only one of his brothers could. It was a failsafe Dad had installed: to kill an archangel you had to use the blade of one. They could only kill each other.

He loved his brothers.

Even the one who destroyed his grace, wiping him from the world.

Because they loved him too.

It just wasn't enough.

 **P.S. If you want to keep up to date on my writing add me to Facebook, Tumbler, Twitter or Instagram as CrowNoYami ;-) Also, if you want to see what I** **'m reading (I always review so you know what you're getting into) I'm on Goodreads as well, the same name as always.**


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